It’s time to do a little self-evaluation.
Every once in awhile, we need to do this and lots of times we don’t want to do it because we know that what we will find is that we have not been honest with other people or even to ourselves.
Who are you blaming for your situation?
So even if we have all of our monkeys under control, ducks in a row, loose ends tied up, we will still feel like life is not where it is supposed to be. That is mostly because we have put a perfect goal or situation in our minds and feel that if it is not that perfect thing, then we are a failure. True? I sure hope not but most of us feel this to one degree or another. So then let me ask again, who are you blaming?
But let me ask an even more difficult question, Who is to blame? These are not the same questions. They may have the same answers, but they may not. Hmmmmm.
There has been a quote in my mind that seemed appropriate:
I once complained that I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet
Sometimes for us to see the difference in those two questions is that it is all about perspective. Just because you have always wanted to be a football player and you never got the big break doesn’t mean that it was the coach’s fault for not playing you. Maybe you were not up to the task compared to that other player who did. Just because you wanted to get that management job and they gave it to someone else, doesn’t make it that other person’s fault. Perhaps they had more schooling that you were unaware of. Just because you are not the perfect size that you have always wanted to be, it doesn’t make it the fault of weight loss group that wasn’t there when you last went on an eating weekend.
We need to stop playing the blame game. The truth of the matter is that blame is not important. Just like in a car ‘accident’, it is called an accident for a reason. Sometimes it just happens. What shows our true character is what we do in those times. I know people that blame everything on everyone and anyone except themselves. This makes them very bitter people. When you spend too much time looking for blame, you miss out on the opportunity to learn from things and become better for the next time. Because there will be a next time. Life isn’t meant to be slow and boring unless you hide in a bubble room and never try or do new things.
So stop blaming. Even if there is someone to blame for whatever, who really cares. Once blame has been handed out, what difference does that really make to us? Usually, it makes no difference at all. So what if that person had a cold, shook your hand and you now have one. What difference does it make now? Will blaming that person make you healthier? Will it make you feel better? Are you sure that you haven’t done exactly the same thing without even know it? Move on! Get something that will make you feel better and deal with it. As my dad always says; “ a cold will last for seven days or a week whichever comes first.”
Also, you need to be sure that you don’t take the blame for other people’s stuff on yourself. Most of us tend to fall into one camp or another, it’s all your fault or it’s all my fault. No, it’s not! Stop taking on other people’s stuff. Again, blame is not healthy.
Stuff happens, we are not perfect, there will be bumps in the road, our monkeys will escape, ducks will wander, loose ends become frayed ends. It happens. Just move on. Do the best that you can and enjoy the victories that come with that, even the small ones. Most of us will never come to the end of our journey where we planned. Most of us will look back and think “Really? I never saw that coming.” And yet the sun will rise, and set whether we assign blame or not, so just move on.
Blame is for God and small children. – Dustin Hoffman