I really don’t know if any of you have had this thought or if it is just me. I would take a guess and say that at one time or another each and every one of us that would like our bodies to look different than they do have asked themselves;
“is this what I am meant to look like for the rest of my life?”
I don’t want to get all down and whoa is me, but, after all the years that I have been chasing that elusive perfect weight and/or size, it occurred to me that maybe this is just who I am, overweight and disappointed at what my body looks like in the mirror.
Sure, if I go onto Instagram, I will see endless pictures of slim girls desperately trying to empathize with us larger girls by sitting in such a way that their skin folds just enough to say, ‘see, I look like that too’. Then I will see the posts that will tell me to stop comparing myself to other people blah blah blah. Yes, I know all of that. I have been overweight for a long time. I know all of that stuff and frankly today it feels like crap!
Ok, ok, it is just one of those days. We all have them, but then I think, maybe this is truly the way I am meant to be. If we are all made differently, made to be who we are, made to be unique, maybe I do need to embrace what I look like instead of what I thought I was supposed to look like.
But if that is true, then what now? What do I do now? Just resign me to being a fatty, order up another pizza, hit the drive-thru, dig into a tub of ice cream?
The answer I know in my heart of hearts is NO.
Just because I am not the size I wish I was, doesn’t mean that I choose to give in and give up. It may just mean that I will carry more weight than some other girls do.
Although I am not a size 6, my goal size btw, I know a lot of size 6 people that are totally out of shape. Their body on the outside just doesn’t show it. I also know that I like the way I feel when I am going to the gym on a regular basis and I don’t like the way I feel when I have a few days off in a row. That is when I truly feel fat and sloth-like.
Another thing that I am certain of is that I am healthy on the inside. I may eat too much, I may indulge more than I should if I want to be smaller, but most of the time I eat in a very healthy way. We eat most of our meals in. We eat very few processed foods. We take our time and eat that the table, believe me, this also matters.
We have taken high-quality vitamins for years because we are aware that most of the food we eat no longer contain the nutrition it once did. We do our best to get good quality sleep. We drink water on a regular basis. So now that I say all of that out loud, why am I not smaller?
Actually, I truly have no idea. That is why there is a multimillion dollar industry totally dedicated to the weight loss industry. It is an industry. You know those things we used to think belonged in huge factories, well the factory is now online and it makes those brick and mortar buildings look tiny.
We, in the west, are obsessed with what our bodies should and should not look like but at some time we simply need to understand that the world is made up of different size people. The thing we should be obsessing about is becoming more healthy. Your size is irrelevant if you eat well, get off of the couch and move, and surround yourself with loving supportive people.
Admitting who we really are and also who we are meant to be is a quest most of us spend our whole lives on and maybe the real answer is not who we are supposed to be but who we are right now and are we living our best life.
I know that I will spend the rest of my life striving to be the person God made. I will continue to grow and change. That is the way it is supposed to be. I may never reach the goal size in my mind, but then again, I may actually realize that I am already perfect in God’s eyes and I will be ok with that.
So I will continue to eat well, get exercise, rest, and surround myself with people who love me.
Your turn to do the same.
Ps: if you need a head start on finding people who love you, I am right here, just let me know.
There's a lot more to life than how fat or thin you are. Kirstie Alley