I am at a strange time in my life. Well, it’s strange to me. I have a lot of alone time.
I know that at one point in my life I had to lock myself in the closet just to get alone time, but that is not now. After getting out of school, I went to work. No shocker there, we all did. Either that or we went back to school. You are young, eager, tonnes of energy, always looking for something to do, and that is what is expected of you. Soon after, we, Doug and I, married and then the next phase of my life began, I was a full-time parent. For me, that was what I really wanted to do and be. I wanted to raise my own kids, stay with them during the day, teach them things that I wanted to teach them and not send them to daycare. We worked really hard to do that. Most people thought I was lazy, not going to another place to work my day away. But those people obviously had never spent their full-time hours with three small children while maintaining a household and supporting a very ambitious husband that worked a lot and had a lot of different projects on the go at any given time.
Being an “at home mom”, has changed over the years. Not only has the financial demands changed, but people’s attitudes have as well. There were many times when I actually had no name of my own. I was someone’s mom or someone’s wife. I actually had people in social events turn their backs on me and turn their noses up when they found out that I was “just a mom”. I truly believe in my heart of hearts, though, that staying at home with my kids was the single biggest thing that I could have done for them. I met all sorts of moms who were great parents, but being at home all day with their kids was not the best option for them. I met people that really shouldn’t have ever been parents. I met people that loved kids so much they took care of theirs and other people’s too. Being an at home mom was way harder than most people think. But after all is said and done, I am now ‘the Grandma‘ and I am so proud of my kids. All three of them have grown into amazing adults that I am so proud to have in my world.
But I am at the “now what” stage of my life. It’s kind of like retiring, I guess, I am not in demand anymore. If I had done my job well and right, then this is where I should be. But… “now what”. Well, it’s time to explore the world as an adult now. My husband and I get to date again. We are not quite empty nesters yet, but it’s coming very soon. We get to eat grown up food, if we want to, or not. We can eat popcorn for dinner if we want, or not eat at all. We can go out and eat, and not have to worry about checking in with what time we need to come home. We get to get up and go to the gym and not worry about being home in time for school. We actually get to decide for ourselves most everything that were once centred around kids schedules and their needs and wants. We don’t have to share our tv time and we are allowed to watch news all the time if we want. BTW, we don’t want to, I’m just saying, no more Disney channel.
I think this is why I am enjoying the blogging so much. It’s mine. Sure, there are interruptions. Of course, I get distracted. But it’s mine, and I like it. It took me a long time to find something that I get to do for me and that I like and I think it was worth the wait. I hope you like it too.
So, don’t worry if you haven’t decided what you want to be when you grow up. I am over 50 and I only just found mine. But, I am still waiting to grow up.
Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.― P.J. O’Rourke