Are You Selfish?

This is the time of year for giving.  Most of us love to give gifts.  We love to see the other person’s face light up as they see that you found the perfect thing for them.  We love to see kids faces get all excited when they find that great toy they have wanted for “their whole life”.  We love to see the tears form when you have given something really thoughtful to someone and they absolutely love it.  Yes, the time of year for giving is really wonderful.  But, what about me???

What about what I want?  Do I get to receive too?  We have just pushed through Black Friday and Cyber Monday and a lot of people shopped for others but from what I have heard, a lot more have bought stuff for themselves.  Is this selfish? Or not?  That, in my opinion, is not for me to decide.  It shouldn’t be for you to decide either.  I think we spend too much time in other people’s business these days.

I think that there are times when you absolutely should be selfish.  I am not talking about hoarding your belongings.  Or not sharing your things.  And in no way am I saying being rude is ok.  What I am thinking is;

are you spreading yourself too thin for other people and forgetting about yourself?

There is so much going on at this time of the year in particular.  We are already way more busy than we used to be.  We are working, raising a family, keeping a house, shopping, trying to maintain friendships, maybe a business on the side.  Where in all that do, do we take time for ourselves?  There are times when we must put our own wants and needs into the calendar and treat them like a very important meeting.  A meeting with your future self.  If you don’t take care of yourself now, your future self won’t be very happy.

Taking time in your schedule to be selfish is the best thing you can do for yourself.  When we are spread too thin, our immunity works as much overtime as we do.  Our resistance to little things like colds goes way down.  Our emotions come way too close to the surface and we get grumpy, sad and lose perspective.  

Were you aware that; stress can play a part in problems such as headaches, high blood pressure, heart problems, diabetes, skin conditions, asthma, arthritis, depression, and anxiety. – The Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) declared stress a hazard of the workplace. Jun 12, 2016

So, maybe being a little selfish isn’t sounding that bad.  Maybe selfish is the wrong word to use.  Let’s, then, call it self care, not selfish.  Self care is actually a term I am hearing more and more and I love it.  We need to be mindful of our own self just as much as are mindful of those around us.

Take some time for yourself.  Make an appointment for some ‘me’ time in whatever form that is.  But if it is truly important for you, then it belongs in your schedule.  When our kids were small, there was only one of me and three kids to shuttle to their events and I used to tell them “if it isn’t in the calendar, it doesn’t happen!”  It forced us all to make sure that we wrote things down, kept it where we could see it, make all arrangements needed for that event, and more importantly, it got done not forgotten.

So, make some time for:

• Gym,
• Walk,
• Quiet bath,
• Reading,
• Nap time,
• Coffee with Mom,
• Date night,
• Meal planning,
• Podcast,
• Game night,
• Retail therapy.

It’s time to make YOU a priority.  

Sometimes you have to be selfish to be selfless. – Edward Albert